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Who would you meet?

Who would you meet?

In our expectation of wonderful, sometimes we imagine a magical encounter. This event has the power to fill the void of our ideas or our hearts, we open the doors to a magical world where barriers disappear barely touched and where the proposals flit like butterflies golden.

We're big dreamers and we think so incantation: "if I met someone who ... so I ... "which is available in" I could do this, I'd be happy, I succeed, I have a different life, I would one to one another ... "residual illusion after reading our Children. Our appeasement then exulted when the prince crossed the eyes of his princess, revealed to itself, an absolute promise radical change. The peculiarity of the story is to stop the kiss and the dream of desert reality. Certainly!

However, the reality needs to dream to gain momentum and grow. Think it's possible to put into perspective and take time to choose what suits us best, without taking too much risk. Do not deprive us. Who would you meet? How is this different? What qualities does he hold it? How would your life be different? How dare you?

Answering these questions is to discover the facet of our personality that we have to release. If I dream to meet an artist who will open me the way to a greater creativity is probably because I wish to explore paths less marked. I forgot how to think somewhere out of frame. My costume will be the world to visit. If I want to find someone organized, realistic, loyal, is that I probably lost sight in my own life a certain balance between routines and improvisation. I must return to a little more restraint between two impulses.

"Oneself as Another" writes philosopher Paul Ricoeur. Before meeting each other, we must meet you. Being able to know what is ours and what we undecided on plan to another. The other role is not to carry our burdens, he already has his.

more we are strangers to ourselves, the more we meet people away from what we should be sustainable, both in our personal and professional lives. We know better, the closer we get the people with whom we can build a relationship fulfilled and happy. The magic is to believe in our own power, that to grow and achieve our dreams.

4 verbs for communicate better

When we are in relationship with someone, we usually prefer an axis of communication. Yet, in a balanced and healthy relationship, everyone should ask, give, receive and reject.

Request: to express what you need and take the risk of a negative answer.

Give : being able to offer without expectation of return or receipt.

Receive : to be in an open position and try not to prejudge the intentions of the other.

Deny : the difference between what we tend to refuse a person and deny the person. You should know not to dare to say so.

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Believe in what is good for you

Believe in what is good for self

"It is easy to believe, easy to disbelieve. What is hard is to not believe in his unbelief"

Arthur Koestler

Have you a model? Someone or something that inspires you when you're stuck in a deadlock, someone who knows exactly what do you aspire?

My grandfather was one of my models. He was a man with simple desires, gestures and generous soul in peace. He died at 96 years with a smile, almost with humor. When I looked prey to my torment, he struck me with her "because you have no faith!". He spoke of his own ... it resonated in me but it fascinated me. His faith was evident calm, she did not discuss, she was there, strong and lightweight. I always know there was something extremely powerful in the belief with sincerity, that could see the light in the darkness of our grief.

Of course, my grandfather thought faith in God. I only kept the faith, energy that moves in one direction, inexorably, like a thick carpet which runs to lead us where we want. I learned from experience that there are rugs in which we take the foot and others on which we slip face in the wind. When my beliefs are contrary to my goals is as if the carpet turned into mountains. They are obstacles that stand between me and what I intended. They can be called limiting beliefs. On the other hand, when my beliefs are congruent with my desires, they are in the same direction, then they open for me the way, give me wings and create positive dynamics, synchronicities.

Beliefs are thoughts about ourselves, others and our environment. They become limiting beliefs when it reduces the changes we want to undertake. For example, I want to stop smoking but continue to believe that I in no danger, my skin, my lungs do not risk anything. In this case, my motivation to change will not be supported by my belief and it will therefore be small and not very supportive to my approach. I think this is because in my family everybody smokes and nobody ever got sick - which means I'm genetically-protected and my belief is relatively toxic, is my belief based on a cognitive dissonance (ie "I do not know and I prefer to think otherwise) and it would be useful to change belief.

Synchronicity is the idea (even a belief, then!) until we know where we want to go and we have the appropriate beliefs, we attract events that enhance the performance considered (good people, good areas, good applications). Suppose this time I want to do a radio show that I believe sincerely and objectively the qualities I have, I'll probably be more careful opportunities that could lead me to this project, I'll talk about it, take action relevant to this expectation and approach it more closely. It is a belief caregiver.

However, changing beliefs is difficult. Our beliefs come from our childhood, speeches that were made about us, the place we were assigned. Since we have become great people, it behooves us to take control of our destiny and take stock of what we inherited.

Little exercise change a limiting belief

1) Identify the most debilitating limiting beliefs

Take for example the following beliefs:

"When I say no to someone in my life, I suggest I am incompetent "then ask yourself the following questions:

- What is the important criterion for me behind this belief?

Sample response:" To be competent in my field of expertise "

2) To change the belief, it must act consistently with the criteria that is important to you.

What would a person skilled in the situations that interest you? Before giving its approval, it would undoubtedly questions (what, when, how, what results are expected ...) and ask for a slight moment of reflection.

Have fun!

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Can we learn to be happy?

Can we learn to be happy?

"Happiness is to be happy, This is not to make others believe "

Jules Renard

" Being happy is to always be happy anyway "

Clément Rosset

Sometimes I wonder what is happiness except feel miserable for not being happy. Might there be a tyranny of small happiness that disqualify joys, laughter and suspended the fleeting pleasures? Happiness is probably an idea self and the world has no place in the imagination. In the reality of our bodies and our relationships, we have to deal with the stresses of everyday life: time, average mood. Being happy is probably the least unhappy as possible.

And if happiness was a learned skill without too much difficulty but with a bit of lucidity and method? One might smile but it's true that is, it works.

I have for you a synthesized models exposed by Tal Ben Shahar (Professor of Psychology positive at Harvard) in his book "Happier." This reduction has the merit of illuminating the four archetypal behavior for most of us and point their limits.

The rat race slave future

Earnings are still expected in the future. The present moment can never be appreciated. The relief takes the place of happiness.

nihilism of the slave past

There is never any winnings. The past resembles the present and future. There is nothing to expect. We must resign ourselves. Happiness does not exist.

The hedonism of the slave of this

The needs lieu of happiness is envisaged that in the present. The lack of goals and challenges of life empty of meaning.

HAPPINESS

We win every time because we have identified the goal that makes sense for you. The purpose of our lives is the goal of goals, one goal "unifying" one who enlightens us in our choice and we actually prefer activities that bring us benefits present and future. Happiness is a compromise between idealism and realism.

In summary, to be happy, you must have identified the goal box, realistic and depends on us. That goal gives meaning to the direction in which our lives. Since we know where to go, we lose more time for hesitation on our decisions: they are or are not consistent with our goal.

Being pragmatic does not mean the spiritual void. It is always possible to read Plato, Aristotle, Cicero, St. Thomas Aquinas, or Spinoza Manavadharmasastra. The joy of living is combined with the joy of thinking.


Nathalie Martinez-Vogelsinger