The freedom of autonomy heavy
"Express yourself, do you assume, Be independent, do you realize, be yourself, be all of the leaders ... All these slogans are most anxiety when you do not allow individuals to make learning self-government ".
Ehrimberg Alain, The cult of performance
Ehrimberg Alain, The cult of performance
When we talk about ourselves, prior to govern themselves, still needs a bit about each other. "Know" is a program rather loaded. According to the model called the "Johari Window", our personality / our ego / self ... may be considered under four dimensions which only the first two are known to us:
- Public Dimension : I know and is known other;
- the hidden dimension : I know but I which is ignored by others;
- Dimension blind: what others know about me and I do not know ;
- dimension unknown : What I do not know me and ignored by others as well (which is revealed only in special circumstances for better or for worse).
- Public Dimension : I know and is known other;
- the hidden dimension : I know but I which is ignored by others;
- Dimension blind: what others know about me and I do not know ;
- dimension unknown : What I do not know me and ignored by others as well (which is revealed only in special circumstances for better or for worse).
I was saying, "Know" is an ambitious program because we need to first time be aware of what we are (history, values, choices ...), whether we like it or not, recognize our skills and accept our limitations.
But it is also advisable to listen to what they say about us. Not that others know us better than ourselves, but because they can see what we can not access because they are watching us from another angle: the others are not as hell but an indispensable mirror.
However, remember that like any mirror, it can be distorting. At first, there must therefore be to sort out:
- which is projected onto you and that belongs to another (usually expressed as a reproach and lit by the childlike and yet effective "is c'lui he says is" but can also take the form of a compliment at the end handling)
- and what is said to enlighten you in a tremendous boost of authenticity sometimes brutal (the mirror that makes you take a decision).
Generally, this information sent to you within the second case when you have in mind, it disturbs you, it echoes something that you find it hard to pinpoint. So it is worthwhile to linger and ask questions. How does this word, this phrase speaks to me happen to me? What bothers me? What I want to do? What it does cause this emotion (be lucid on emotion: fear, anger, sadness, joy ...)?
Another way to know is to take stock of beliefs that we have internalized about ourselves and that we come from parental speech (adult referees, teachers, professors ...). We find it hard to identify because we have become automatic thoughts which we do not necessarily aware that we have never been questioned. Transactional Analysis (AT Eric Berne) calls these speeches drivers (which guided our behavior). They are 5 in number and are accompanied by false promises stressful as inappropriate:
- Hurry and belief that it is enough to hurry to get rid of problems.
Antidote: do things more slowly, reserve yourself time.
- Be strong and belief that we will always be able to prove we are the strongest.
Antidote: you can rely on others. They are also able to understand that you have the right to be happy or not, to be vulnerable or not.
- Be perfect and belief that we will always be 100% perfect.
Antidote: you have the right to deceive you, you do not need to know everything.
- Make fun and belief that we can to please everyone.
Antidote : you can not please everyone accepts it. Say what is important for YOU.
- Make efforts and belief that when one is laborious and we get tired it always wins.
Antidote: you have the right to relax. What can you stop doing?
Everyone will recognize. This is a first step toward self-knowledge. "To govern" will ask themselves the following questions: What do I decide to keep? When? How far? How effective is it for me? What is it comfortable for me? What I want instead? What is my decision from now? How will I do?
Exercise: Shadow
As explained very well my friend Sarah Christine Carstensen ( Being a magician's life and Zen in the blink of an eye) , the shadow is consists of all elements that a person represses or depreciating and disposing it in the unconscious: its shortcomings, fears and weaknesses. Minus the dark side is recognized as a part of the personality, the more the person tends to project it on others to avoid unconsciously to keep itself from this embarrassment.
be honest! How many times have we criticized someone for a personality trait that would serve us well yet? It talks too much, this one is too pretty, this one is still too perfectionist, this one always comes late. It bears little in others what they allow themselves when we apply to repress. I suggest you stop for a moment:
- make a list of behaviors, attitudes ... you insupportent among others;
- and then think about what these behaviors and attitudes you bring if you adopt them at appropriate times.
Ex: suppose I am somebody who runs all the time, so I probably hate those slow. "Slow" is behavior that annoys me. If I choose to think, I think that if I put a bit slow in my life I will gain comfort (longer, more calm), esteem (to preserve my quality of life).
Here!
Nathalie Martinez-Vogelsinger
"freedom of the heavy autonomy" great expression to my sense of Alain Ehrenberg.
The Shadows: Jungian concept of psychoanalysis
But it is also advisable to listen to what they say about us. Not that others know us better than ourselves, but because they can see what we can not access because they are watching us from another angle: the others are not as hell but an indispensable mirror.
However, remember that like any mirror, it can be distorting. At first, there must therefore be to sort out:
- which is projected onto you and that belongs to another (usually expressed as a reproach and lit by the childlike and yet effective "is c'lui he says is" but can also take the form of a compliment at the end handling)
- and what is said to enlighten you in a tremendous boost of authenticity sometimes brutal (the mirror that makes you take a decision).
Generally, this information sent to you within the second case when you have in mind, it disturbs you, it echoes something that you find it hard to pinpoint. So it is worthwhile to linger and ask questions. How does this word, this phrase speaks to me happen to me? What bothers me? What I want to do? What it does cause this emotion (be lucid on emotion: fear, anger, sadness, joy ...)?
Another way to know is to take stock of beliefs that we have internalized about ourselves and that we come from parental speech (adult referees, teachers, professors ...). We find it hard to identify because we have become automatic thoughts which we do not necessarily aware that we have never been questioned. Transactional Analysis (AT Eric Berne) calls these speeches drivers (which guided our behavior). They are 5 in number and are accompanied by false promises stressful as inappropriate:
- Hurry and belief that it is enough to hurry to get rid of problems.
Antidote: do things more slowly, reserve yourself time.
- Be strong and belief that we will always be able to prove we are the strongest.
Antidote: you can rely on others. They are also able to understand that you have the right to be happy or not, to be vulnerable or not.
- Be perfect and belief that we will always be 100% perfect.
Antidote: you have the right to deceive you, you do not need to know everything.
- Make fun and belief that we can to please everyone.
Antidote : you can not please everyone accepts it. Say what is important for YOU.
- Make efforts and belief that when one is laborious and we get tired it always wins.
Antidote: you have the right to relax. What can you stop doing?
Everyone will recognize. This is a first step toward self-knowledge. "To govern" will ask themselves the following questions: What do I decide to keep? When? How far? How effective is it for me? What is it comfortable for me? What I want instead? What is my decision from now? How will I do?
Exercise: Shadow
As explained very well my friend Sarah Christine Carstensen ( Being a magician's life and Zen in the blink of an eye) , the shadow is consists of all elements that a person represses or depreciating and disposing it in the unconscious: its shortcomings, fears and weaknesses. Minus the dark side is recognized as a part of the personality, the more the person tends to project it on others to avoid unconsciously to keep itself from this embarrassment.
be honest! How many times have we criticized someone for a personality trait that would serve us well yet? It talks too much, this one is too pretty, this one is still too perfectionist, this one always comes late. It bears little in others what they allow themselves when we apply to repress. I suggest you stop for a moment:
- make a list of behaviors, attitudes ... you insupportent among others;
- and then think about what these behaviors and attitudes you bring if you adopt them at appropriate times.
Ex: suppose I am somebody who runs all the time, so I probably hate those slow. "Slow" is behavior that annoys me. If I choose to think, I think that if I put a bit slow in my life I will gain comfort (longer, more calm), esteem (to preserve my quality of life).
Here!
Nathalie Martinez-Vogelsinger
"freedom of the heavy autonomy" great expression to my sense of Alain Ehrenberg.
The Shadows: Jungian concept of psychoanalysis
0 comments:
Post a Comment